Working Caregiver- Caregiver Articles
Overseeing the care of an elder can create stress for a caregiver. Learn how caregiving can also provide compassion as it prepares us for acceptance.
Caregiver Stress
Caregiver Compassion
Deliver me your grace, Compassion
A new world arrives to the caregiver when giving to an elder loved one becomes your life. An experience never forgotten because after awhile compassion engrains its innate kindness when enumerable days becomes months and months of supporting your loved one; doing for her what she can no longer do for herself.
It's what I've experienced the first few years of helping my mom with doctor visits, checking on her daily, speaking to health practitioners for her, dressing her, cooking for her, cleaning her home and overseeing her care. She appreciated the time and care given. But above all, we were left with an overwhelming flow of compassion. It was like energy of love gets you through the times of pain, hospitals, doctor appointments and medical tests and procedures. I learned that until we care for someone by stepping out on the edge of losing ourselves, our hearts remain tight.
This doesn't mean that frustration, guilt of not doing enough, or stress isn't a part of the energy… it certainly blanketed my efforts at times, many times. Guilt begets guilt, I found. It's a bear coordinating schedules, full time jobs, and life in general, while overseeing the health care of an elder. It's like stress, guilt and frustration of caregiving fed and gave birth to a new me. Like growing a child in your body… it's like that… giving birth to a new dimension of self.
Looking in the rear view mirror; love expanded and enveloped her, my mom. She became an extension of me; my energy expanded toward her. She loved me deeply in return. I saw her learn a new love, I believe, by giving up the task to care for me and giving in to the care I gave her. As her child, I learned the power of total commitment. She was a part of me. We couldn't withdraw - we depended on each other for sustenance, the vital one - compassion.
She grew into a soft, ample elder woman; mom allowed life to take its toll on her. This didn't weaken her; it made her stronger through surrendering to aging. I yearn for the lessons of aging. I no longer see it as killing us and weakening us. It prepares us for acceptance. It's the final acceptance that we belong to the Source, the source of love.
Thank you, Mom. Even though you are no longer in this world you are bigger to me now than ever. You grow each day. My love for you grows each moment. You gave me life and so much more. I give you my heart and so much more.
Carol Marak, Founder, Working Caregiver- Online Caregiver Community.
